I’ve been married for over seven years now, and I have never stopped dating. Truth be told, I find it so healthy, I can’t stop myself from doing it.
Dating is so rewarding that I recommend it to all married women out there because seriously, all it takes is to find the right man and to make the time to do it. The rest of the process is pretty smooth and easy.
For a quick background of my dating history, I have to say it has survived throughout the years despite my having a full-time job, having enrolled in and completed a Masters program, and having had a baby. Somehow, the busier my schedule got, the more I was reliant on keeping those all-important date-nights because they helped me breathe.
They also reminded me that I had a life outside my work-study-baby circle – an important measure of balance is always important.
Each time I met with my date, I felt empowered. I was back to being a real woman. I was talking to someone who didn’t care about my work or my books. I was out of this vicious cycle and I enjoyed every minute of it.
But obviously, with a busy schedule, dating didn’t happen every week because I simply couldn’t keep up with what it required of me. So the agreement was to meet occasionally – and occasionally when you’re married with kids means 10-15 times per year (whether you find this to be too much or too little doesn’t really matter, I dated when I had the chance to do so).
- I like to be with a man that makes me laugh
- My worst fashion failures
- Next time you visit a hotel, remember this
- The day a stranger (almost) had a peek at my breast
Now that we’ve moved to Bangkok, I have decided to spend some time with my daughter by enjoying the temporary status of being a stay at home mom – a luxurious life, or a loser’s life, depending on your perspective of SAHM. Either way, this means that I have more time to… Well, yes, to date.
The problem is that my date now has an extremely busy schedule and works super long hours, which brings back some limitations in our dating schedule, but we’re still managing to make it through. In case you’re wondering, my date has conveniently relocated with me to Thailand. That’s what makes this dating adventure even more exciting. We’re always together, no matter what.
My favorite part of this whole thing is what this experience gives me. It starts with my preparations before the date. A shower, to feel fresh of course. Perfume and deo to make sure I smell great (because they say that a good smell triggers desire). I then take the time to wear make-up, clothes (sexy or casual depending on the mood) and to fix my hair.
All of this happens past bedtime so I’m free to move around the house without my usual audience.
When the time comes, I sneak out of the house quietly to ensure no one wakes-up, as I like to enjoy a guilt-free dinner. I date because it’s important to me, and when other people (especially the miniature ones) start questioning my motives, I feel that I failed the sole purpose of this experience. So it’s important to sneak out quietly.
That’s when I finally get to meet my date. When I meet him, he usually does one of two things: He’s either talking with someone over the phone, or he is text messaging someone. Either way, he is glued to his phone. This habit has survived over the years, and the more time passes, the less confident I feel that this habit will change.
He usually waits for me in the lobby of our building, as he too, has quietly sneaked out of the house before me. We’ve been together for 13 years now, married for seven with one child. We’ve lived in three different countries, travelled to many places together, and we still date because it’s important for us.
Those dinners give us the chance to sit alone and to talk to one another. They don’t necessarily happen in a romantic setting (the ones that come with candles and roses), because we’re passed that stage. We’ve grown into a more mature phase and we don’t really need a romantic ambiance to make us feel like a special couple.
The fact that we still date after all these years, and that we have managed to maintain ourselves as a fresh and energized couple, despite having kids, is what counts in our relationship.
We’re over the “your eyes are so pretty I can just sit here and stare at them the whole day” stage, because (it’s too boring and becomes rather lame) we have built a life together with better priorities.
Today, the stage we’re at sounds more like “we’re survivors and proud of it.”
That’s what makes it so special, and that’s why I enjoy it so much.
As I said, you just need to find the right guy, and the time to enjoy dating as a married woman. If you do, I strongly recommend it.
Now, spread the news…
Like it? Pin it and read it later