After pregnancy, new moms are instantly programmed with a brand new perspective on life that makes them believe that they gave birth to the most special kids that humanity has ever seen.
Well that’s only normal because they made these little people and they can’t help but feel proud of their achievements.
Then, when two proud moms face one another, the competition on whose kid is smarter and more special becomes too frantic. That’s when you start hearing unbelievable stories of kids who said their first words at two weeks of age or who were even capable of walking at the age of six months. When it comes to telling special stories about their kids, moms’ can go wild!
Before I joined the mommy-club, I listened to all those achievements and took mental notes to refer to when I’d have kids of my own. I mean, if a child is capable of talking at two weeks, why can’t mine do the same, right?
Fast forward to today, I’ve been a mom for two years now and I can tell you that your kids are not special!
Truth is, all kids are programmed to discover the world in a specific way. They all smile around the same period; they discover their hands, feet, body movements and all other aspects of life in a specific sequence, regardless of their gender or nationality. They’re all programmed to function in the same way, and around the same period of time. That’s why they call those phases, milestones.
The problem is that moms are distracted by the wrong equation.
They think that: baby + advanced = special kid.
Truth is, if your baby can talk, walk, smile, or sit-up earlier than other kids, there is nothing exquisite about it. It doesn’t mean that they are smarter or stronger than others, and it definitely does not guarantee any future success in life.
All it means is that they’ve achieved a milestone earlier than other kids.
Short. And. Simple.
I’ve met people who proudly claimed that they achieved milestones much earlier than anticipated. But then when I look at them today, I wonder where all the special skills have disappeared because none of them seem to have been well developed.
I’ve had several discussions with other moms about the way their kids discover those milestones. Those who have a good memory of their kids’ progress are amazed by how they all follow the same path, like there was a ship in their minds that makes them go through the different stages, one at a time in a specific order.
My kid has a cousin who happens to be two weeks younger, and they both go through the same phases at once. Basically, this means that it’s practically impossible to put them both in the same room today, because they’re both willing to fight till death to protect the toys that they never play with, just because the other one is interested in it.
And when you follow applications like Baby Center that provides you with the weekly development of your child, you wonder sometimes if they don’t have secret cameras hiding in your house because they describe kids’ development in a very accurate way as if they are secretly observing you. Of course, some of the milestones can vary by a few weeks, but the sequence remains the same.
So if your kids are not advanced, and they’re just following a specific pre-programmed path, what makes them special?
Their mom’s love.
That’s what makes them special.
But I’m not talking here about the emotional kind of love that a mom has to her kids. I’m talking about a more rational form of love. So, I guess the real equation that we should be looking at is as follows:
Baby + mom’s love = special kid.
When a child happens to have a special talent, the mom’s reaction should be (in addition to the usual bragging) to help nurture and develop it so it can eventually turn from a conversation-filler to a really-useful-and-efficient-skill that can benefit that child in the long term.
That’s what moms should do.
So now, back to our little equation: if mom’s love = care + development
Then the final equation is equal to: baby + (care + development) = special kid.
So let’s focus on the more important part of our kids’ development and turn them into confident adults with real skills.
If you liked this post, you might also enjoy
For similar parenting gossip, follow Confidential Mommy Talks on Facebook (and don’t hesitate to join the discussions!)
Liked this post? Pin it and save it for later